


Texts on April Fool's Day

by AbbieHollowDays (USS_Ichabbie), USS_Ichabbie



Category: Sleepy Hollow (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 13:48:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3694562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/USS_Ichabbie/pseuds/AbbieHollowDays, https://archiveofourown.org/users/USS_Ichabbie/pseuds/USS_Ichabbie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jenny has pulled one prank too many on Abbie. Abbie & Ichabod attempt get her back, but things do not go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Abbie:** Jenny, I swear to God... If you pull one more prank on me today...

 **Jenny:** New phone. Who this?

 **Abbie:** Keep playing! I'm gonna find a special spell in Grace's Journal just for you.

 **Jenny:** Hey... Vaseline on the toilet seat is a classic!

 **Abbie:** And freezing my keys in a block of ice?

 **Jenny:** heheh

 **Abbie:** Oh! And the pièce de résistance... filling my drawers with toys. My desk... Where I work.

 **Jenny:** See... Now I'm hurt, because that was both a prank AND a great gift! I figured your old Hitachi could use a bit of a rest before you wear it out. Pretty sure that's been half your electric bill for the past couple of months. LOL!

 **Abbie:** Why were you going through my nightstand?!!!!

 **Abbie:** You know what? I don't want to know. I'm just lucky Reyes didn't swing by for my paperwork. I can't find a damn thing in there. I can barely shut it.

 **Jenny:** OH! If you're looking for paperwork... go below the dildos, and hang a left at the butt plugs. I kept them nice and tidy with nipple clamps.

 **Abbie:** OMG

 **Jenny:** LOL

 **Ichabod:** Hitachi?

 **Jenny:** Just Google it Ichy

 **Abbie:** DO NOT GOOGLE IT CRANE!

 **Abbie:** Wait... How are you even seeing this Crane?

 **Jenny:** Shit.

 **Jenny:** Um... Is now a bad time to remember to tell you that I added a cool thing to all our phones so we can grouptext each other when Apocalyps-y stuff happens but that I'm still figuring it out?

 **Abbie:** ALL OUR PHONES?!

 **Abbie:** Crane, you saw all that?

 **Irving:** Bet you're regretting teaching "Mr. Slide-to-open" how to use a cell right about now... huh, Mills?

 **Abbie:** OMG

 **Irving:** I'm not exactly sure how Jenny got this on my phone.

 **Macey:** It was super-easy dad. You don't password protect your cell.

 **Jenny:** I may have recruited Macey to help me.

 **Abbie:** Frank AND Macey? Jenny... Seriously?!!!!

 **Crane:** I have just googled hitachi wand and other terms.

 **Irving:** Macey... remove this from your phone now!!

 **Macey:** You're too late dad! I've seen too much! All that's left for me is to become a pole dancer.

 **Irving:** Macey!

 **Macey:** Dad, I'm not Macey anymore. I'm "Hawt Wheels" now. Respect my life choices!

 **Irving:** Don't make me call your mother!

 **Macey:** Why?! Aren't I part of the team too? I was possessed by a demon! Cosmo says that's a rite of passage. I'm officially a woman now!

 **Irving:** I'm calling your mother.

 **Macey:** OK, OK...

 **Abbie:** OMG

 **Crane:** So... when Miss Jenny says you've nearly worn it out she means...?

 **Abbie:** Give it a rest, Crane.

 **Macey:** Dude... Just ask her out already!

 **Jenny:** Hi-five, Little Ma!

 ** **Irving:**  **Don't encourage her Jenny.

 **Irving:** MACEY!

 **Macey:** I'm GOING!

 **Abbie:** You're so dead, Jenny. Make your final arrangements.

 **Jenny:** Um... April Fool's...?

 **Abbie:** Dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stupid Autocorrect!

**Crane:**  Miss Mills, when you have finished work for the evening would you care to have DIRTY SWEATY SEX with me?

 **Crane:**  D I N N E R

 **Crane:**  Miss Mills! I have no idea how those words entered into my last text message!  I hold you in the highest regard and would never suggest something so wholly improper!  I only wished to CUM ON YOUR SWEET TITS for you.

 **Crane:** C O O K

 **Crane:** What is happening?!  I am so very SORRY I HAVE NOT MADE YOU WRITHE IN ECSTACY SOONER! for this!

 **Crane:** S O R R Y

 **Crane:** F O O D 

 **Crane:** C A B I N

 **Crane:** T O N I G H T

 **Crane:**  V E R Y   S O R R Y

 

 **Abbie:** Let me guess... My sister suggested you invite me over for dinner?

 **Crane:** Y E S

 **Abbie:** Then she asked to borrow your phone for some contrived reason?

 **Crane:**  Y E S

 **Abbie:**  So what have we learned here today?

 **Crane:** D O  N O T  T R U S T  JENNY IS THE QUEEN OF ALL PRANKS!

 **Crane:** J E N N Y

 **Abbie:**  Good Job.  I'll fix your phone when I get HOME AND SUCK THE SOUL OUT OF YOUR BODY THROUGH YOUR COCK!

**Crane:**  Abbie?

**Abbie:** *home.

**Abbie:** Just stop texting, Crane. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok - so autocorrect doesn't exactly work this way... I was just going for the funny. :P 
> 
> (This chapter is for DustDaughter)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenny's pranking is out of control, but Ichabbie's attempt to get back at her doesn't go as planned.

**Crane:** Miss Mills, do you wish to talk about it?

 **Abbie:** No I do not. I just want to go home, take a shower and forget it ever happened.

 **Crane:** Very well then. I will leave you in peace. Good Evening.

 **Abbie:** You had ONE JOB, Crane!

 **Crane:** So you ARE upset.

 **Abbie:** Of course I'm upset! We had a plan. You agreed to the plan, then you did not follow the plan.

 **Crane:** I do not understand what I did that was so wrong!

 **Abbie:** You were supposed to come out of the hall closet dressed as a clown - the only thing Jenny is afraid of - so that I could tape her reaction.

 **Abbie:** Instead... I got a grown man dressed as half a horse.

 **Crane:** I was a centaur!

 **Abbie:** Centaurs have four hooves and two human hands. You were short two hooves. You were literally dressed as as a horses' ass.

 **Crane:** I did not like the clown's costume, so I improvised. I thought the goal was to surprise her.

 **Abbie:** The goal was to scare her. Not whimsy her to death.

 **Abbie:** Not to mention, now we have the other thing to deal with.

 **Crane:** Meaning?

 **Abbie:** Meaning, Jenny Mills now has a video of a man in a horse costume gyrating under her cop sister.

 **Crane:** I was not expecting her to react so quickly and push you on top of me! Your sister moves surprisingly fast!

 **Abbie:** Her cop sister is grunting on top of said horse-man and yelling "Get me off! Get me off!"

 **Crane:** She would not possibly show that video to anyone.

 **Abbie:** Have you met Jenny? She'll have that edited and set to music by the end of the night. She'll show it to the State Police to get out of her next speeding ticket. Hell, she'd show it to a cashier to get a free Frosty at Wendy's.

 **Crane:** Abbie - you have my sincerest apologies.

 **Abbie:**  Uh-huh. You owe me big time.

 **Crane:** Indeed.

 **Abbie:** Where did you even find a horse costume that was anatomically correct?!

 **Crane:** That wasn't...

**Crane:**

**Crane:** Walmart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom wanted to be a centaur, so I let him be that.


End file.
